hippo
03-30-2006, 02:01 PM
Hello gals, got this checklist from a friend. Hope it helps you to make a rational decision before you fell in love :)
How to shortlist a HUSBAND
Preliminary round (General Criteria only) eg. introduction through
friends/colleagues/SDU/SDS
1. Comparable education background or at least a stable job
2. Nice guy (in your friends’ opinion)
3. Non smoker, leisure drinking only
4. Same religion – unless you don’t mind converting
5. Sense of Humour
Detailed Criteria – during dating
Friends usually can’t screen the below for you, unless they know the
guy very closely. So you can only discover these during the dating
stage.
Tips to screen for HUSBAND material
Children
1. Does he want to have children after marriage ? You got to ask
tactfully though
- eg. When you see a kid crying in public & creating a scene, ask him
what does he think of that kid, whether he find that child a nuisance
?
Ex-girlfriend
2. Should not have more than 2 preferably, otherwise you should
wonder why can’t he sustain a serious relationship….commitment issue
? character flaws & hence got dumped ?
3. When did he last break off with his ex-girlfriend ?
- If it’s too recent (such as a few months ago), watch out for
emotional rebound !
- You wouldn’t want to start a relationship with a guy who’s still
thinking of his ex and likely to quickly jump into another
relationship in order to forget his ex. Be extra careful with such
guys.
Family
4. only child ?
- Do you need to stay with in-laws after marriage ? not a problem if
you don’t mind staying with in-laws
5. Relationship with parents & sibling ?
- How close is he to his mother ? Does he admire his mother a lot ?
Although you do want someone who is filial but preferably not a
mommy’s boy.
- Does his parents quarrel a lot ? Did his dad ever hit his mom or
him brutally ? you don’t want a guy who’s being abused since young in
case he might become abusive himself too (according to reports by the
Straits Times).
- Does he need to support his parents financially ? Find out the
monthly contribution. Is it a huge commitment ?. If he’s earning a
lot, then it’s alright since he can afford it. Otherwise do you need
to help support his family after marriage ? It’s alright if u don’t
mind.
- Does he have siblings ? Is he close to his siblings ? Does he need
to help his siblings financially ? Does he have problematic siblings
such as sisters or family members who always quarrel ?
- Once you got married, they become your relatives too. Hence they
should preferably be easy to get along, otherwise they may become a
source of conflict between you & your husband in the future.
Personal
6. Does he have any objectives / goals in life ?
- eg. 5 year career plan ? Where does he see his career in 5 years time?
- or personal objective such as taking MBA or upgrade himself or
something lah.
- He should have some goals in life unless you don’t mind that he’s
someone who just drifts along with life
- But then again, his goals must be realistic. Danger if he’s just
day-dreaming !
7. Spendthrift ?
- In debt ? Owe credit card bills ?
- Got expensive hobbies ?
- Is he in deficit every month (spent more than he earned) ?
8. Over Thrifty ?
- Find out his savings habits ? Is he too thrifty (stingy) ? You
should ideally find a guy who’s willing to spend on you and thrift on
him. Not the other way round.
9. Financial commitment
- Owns a car ? Other financial commitments such as paying installment
for HDB ?
- contribution to family (as above under Family section)
- If he has a lot of financial commitments, it may affect your future
married life as you are likely to worry about money constantly. It’s
alright if you don’t mind contributing
10. Is he willing to share housework with you after marriage? Can he
at least cook a little ?
11. No long courtship (Most important)
- Is he looking for a spouse too ? ie. Ready to settle down & get married ?
- Some guys in 30s may still think they are very young and wish to
concentrate on their career. Please make sure he is on the same
bandwidth as you ie. Looking to start a family in near future.
- Unless you are < 25 years old, YOU SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED IN LONG
COURTSHIP as you can’t afford to waste your youth on one guy. Target
to get married within 2 years.
How to shortlist a HUSBAND
Preliminary round (General Criteria only) eg. introduction through
friends/colleagues/SDU/SDS
1. Comparable education background or at least a stable job
2. Nice guy (in your friends’ opinion)
3. Non smoker, leisure drinking only
4. Same religion – unless you don’t mind converting
5. Sense of Humour
Detailed Criteria – during dating
Friends usually can’t screen the below for you, unless they know the
guy very closely. So you can only discover these during the dating
stage.
Tips to screen for HUSBAND material
Children
1. Does he want to have children after marriage ? You got to ask
tactfully though
- eg. When you see a kid crying in public & creating a scene, ask him
what does he think of that kid, whether he find that child a nuisance
?
Ex-girlfriend
2. Should not have more than 2 preferably, otherwise you should
wonder why can’t he sustain a serious relationship….commitment issue
? character flaws & hence got dumped ?
3. When did he last break off with his ex-girlfriend ?
- If it’s too recent (such as a few months ago), watch out for
emotional rebound !
- You wouldn’t want to start a relationship with a guy who’s still
thinking of his ex and likely to quickly jump into another
relationship in order to forget his ex. Be extra careful with such
guys.
Family
4. only child ?
- Do you need to stay with in-laws after marriage ? not a problem if
you don’t mind staying with in-laws
5. Relationship with parents & sibling ?
- How close is he to his mother ? Does he admire his mother a lot ?
Although you do want someone who is filial but preferably not a
mommy’s boy.
- Does his parents quarrel a lot ? Did his dad ever hit his mom or
him brutally ? you don’t want a guy who’s being abused since young in
case he might become abusive himself too (according to reports by the
Straits Times).
- Does he need to support his parents financially ? Find out the
monthly contribution. Is it a huge commitment ?. If he’s earning a
lot, then it’s alright since he can afford it. Otherwise do you need
to help support his family after marriage ? It’s alright if u don’t
mind.
- Does he have siblings ? Is he close to his siblings ? Does he need
to help his siblings financially ? Does he have problematic siblings
such as sisters or family members who always quarrel ?
- Once you got married, they become your relatives too. Hence they
should preferably be easy to get along, otherwise they may become a
source of conflict between you & your husband in the future.
Personal
6. Does he have any objectives / goals in life ?
- eg. 5 year career plan ? Where does he see his career in 5 years time?
- or personal objective such as taking MBA or upgrade himself or
something lah.
- He should have some goals in life unless you don’t mind that he’s
someone who just drifts along with life
- But then again, his goals must be realistic. Danger if he’s just
day-dreaming !
7. Spendthrift ?
- In debt ? Owe credit card bills ?
- Got expensive hobbies ?
- Is he in deficit every month (spent more than he earned) ?
8. Over Thrifty ?
- Find out his savings habits ? Is he too thrifty (stingy) ? You
should ideally find a guy who’s willing to spend on you and thrift on
him. Not the other way round.
9. Financial commitment
- Owns a car ? Other financial commitments such as paying installment
for HDB ?
- contribution to family (as above under Family section)
- If he has a lot of financial commitments, it may affect your future
married life as you are likely to worry about money constantly. It’s
alright if you don’t mind contributing
10. Is he willing to share housework with you after marriage? Can he
at least cook a little ?
11. No long courtship (Most important)
- Is he looking for a spouse too ? ie. Ready to settle down & get married ?
- Some guys in 30s may still think they are very young and wish to
concentrate on their career. Please make sure he is on the same
bandwidth as you ie. Looking to start a family in near future.
- Unless you are < 25 years old, YOU SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED IN LONG
COURTSHIP as you can’t afford to waste your youth on one guy. Target
to get married within 2 years.